Pope Francis Decries Legal Head Shops Overrunning Vatican City

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VATICAN CITY—Speaking to reporters in front of Saint Peter’s Holy Vape House in the heart of downtown, Pope Francis spoke out this week against the legal head shops he decried are overrunning Vatican City. “You can’t walk the colonnade without passing a cluttered window display with a bunch of bongs and a painting of a Grateful Dead bear praying the rosary,” said His Holiness, who called on Vatican City officials to outlaw the cannabis paraphernalia retailers from operating within 100 yards of any religious site such as the Sistine Chapel. “These rundown head shops make the piazzas look tacky, especially at night with their flashing neon crucifix-inside-a-marijuana-leaf signs. Sure, some of their stained glass bubblers are pretty dope, but do we really need so many of them? Besides, you can already get grinders and lighters and shit at the Vatican gift shop.” The Supreme Pontiff was later spotted stepping out of The Virgin Mary’s Smoke Shack with a fresh pack of rolling papers.

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In a recent statement, Pope Francis has spoken out against the proliferation of legal head shops in Vatican City, expressing concern over the impact they may have on the community.

The Pope emphasized the importance of upholding moral values and promoting a healthy, drug-free environment within the walls of the Vatican. He expressed dismay at the growing number of head shops in the area, which sell drug paraphernalia and other items commonly associated with drug use.

Pope Francis urged local authorities to take action to regulate and restrict the operation of these shops, in order to protect the well-being of the community and uphold the principles of the Catholic faith.

While the legalization of recreational drugs may be a contentious issue, the Pope’s stance on the matter highlights the importance of maintaining a safe and wholesome environment within Vatican City. It remains to be seen how local officials will respond to his call for action.

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