Tag: Dating

XO, Kitty, Netflix’s spinoff of Jenny Han’s megahit rom-com film series To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, returned for a second season last week to great fanfare, vaulting toward the top of Netflix’s Top 10 list. The show follows the younger sister of To All the Boys protagonist Lara Jean, Kitty Song-Covey (Anna Cathcart), as she attends high school in Korea and deals with the ups and downs of teenage romance and self-discovery. Season 1, which aired in 2023, ended on a cliff-hanger that saw one of Kitty’s friends, Min Ho (Sang Heon Lee), dramatically confess his love to our titular character on a plane as she headed back to America, under the pretense that her time at the Korean Independent School of Seoul (KISS) was coming to an end. What Min Ho was unaware of was that Kitty had recently had the revelation that she is bisexual, spurred by her developing a massive crush on their mutual friend Yuri (Gia Kim—ironically, Lee’s real-life sister).

Between potential love interests Yuri, Min Ho, and Kitty’s previous boyfriend Dae (Choi Min-young), it seemed as if XO, Kitty had fully embraced the classic teen-soap trope of characters dating exclusively within the same friend group. You know what I mean: By the end of Riverdale, All American, 90210, Gossip Girl, and so many other teen dramas, every possible combination of couple that could be made between the main cast of characters had already been explored. (In Riverdale, this was even aided by an alternative-universe plotline in which the unlikely couple of Veronica and Jughead were able to get together.) Though some shows do include outside love interests—for example, the beloved Vampire Diaries’ story of Caroline and newcomer “original hybrid” Klaus, or One Tree Hill’s late-stage introduction to Brooke’s eventual husband Julian—it’s rare that these characters stick. Often, they are ushered in after the show is finished depicting the high school years, when the characters are thrust into adulthood. Or, even if some characters do decide to date outside their friend group during high school, the relationship is often treated merely as a pit stop on the way to the final in-group soulmate.

But then, refreshingly, XO, Kitty appeared to be on the verge of bucking this and other tropes. In the trailer for Season 2, we see Kitty expressing a desire to 1) date outside the friend group, and 2) date girls besides Yuri—both desires that seemed to confirm that Min Ho’s Season 1 confession had been met with rejection. It was a breath of fresh air to see Kitty prioritize these goals because, while plenty of narratives may include bisexual characters these days, it’s still rare to see a protagonist on-screen coming of age and actually exploring what that means for them. This move would have beautifully cemented Kitty’s sexuality as more than a plot device to make her more diverse or to push her together with one specific character. Her being bisexual would have been a real part of her identity and an important piece of the puzzle in understanding how she moves through the world.

But XO, Kitty fumbled the bag. Kitty gets a new love interest outside her friend group in the form of Praveena (Sasha Bhasin), a quintessential cool girl who helps Kitty get out of a tough spot in the first episode. Over the following episodes, they grow closer, though Kitty’s still-lingering somewhat-secret crush on Yuri threatens to get in the way of their budding romance. This all implodes during Episode 4 (one of the best of the season), when the existence (and strength) of Kitty’s crush on Yuri comes to light for some of her friends. Just like that, after two failed dates and a smattering of scenes together, Kitty and Praveena are done. For the rest of the season, Kitty’s crush on Yuri subsides as she tries to focus on the subplot of finding her Korean family, only for Kitty to circle back, by the end, to the earlier idea of her and Min Ho as a couple. It’s sort of ironic—if Kitty wanted to talk to the same five people, she could have stayed home. But, try as you might, you can never escape the magnetic pull of the TV-friend-group love interest.

I do get why this trope exists. The entire point of teen soaps is to exploit the drama between members of the main group; after all, they’re the characters that we’re interested in, not some random stranger. But after years of watching televised friend groups become so romantically intertwined that mapping their connections would look like the world’s most confusing murder evidence board, I’m tired. I want my favorite protagonists to try dating someone, literally anyone, else! It’s a good opportunity to see these dramatized teenagers learn more about themselves and the world around them. And Kitty, it seemed, was on her way to doing just that earlier this season. Watching her venture out from her bubble felt a little radical; her budding romance with Praveena was a great chance for Kitty to exit the drama-laden ecosystem of dating her friends and explore more of herself, her sexuality, and whatever social differences exist between dating girls, boys, and everyone in between. Secretly, I do want Kitty to run to Min Ho and profess her undying love by the end of the series, but let her get some time in the outside world first. How else is she, a character in desperate need of some growth, supposed to obtain it when she’s constantly fielding the fallout of breaking up with someone, only to then fall in love with their best friend? More important, it would be a shame if her crush on Yuri is all the series had to show for Kitty’s bisexuality.

I shouldn’t be surprised by this letdown. XO, Kitty is notorious for being as annoying as it is irresistible. Season 2 was no exception, filled with ups (Noah Centineo reprising his role as Peter Kavinsky!) and downs (where did Teacher Alex go?). Kitty’s dating history and sexuality was one area with narrative risk that the show had seemed primed to take on. And, sure, while my heart may be cheering on the eventual Kitty–Min Ho coupling that seems inevitable at this point, I would love to see our girl put herself out there even more first. There’s a whole world beyond the people she already knows.