Tag: OCD

ASHBURN, Va. — As Washington Commanders kicker Zane Gonzalez walked to the front of the room to receive an award during a special teams meeting Thursday, he reenacted what caused him to go viral on social media four days earlier: He started fixing his hair multiple times as teammates laughed.

It was Gonzalez’s way of acknowledging what took place before his game-winning field goal to beat Tampa Bay 23-20 in the wild-card round Sunday night.

The NBC cameras followed him as he went through his routine: repeatedly adjusting his sock, rubbing his hair and tapping his helmet before finally putting it on his head, then doinking a kick off the right upright and over the crossbar.

The kick propelled the Commanders into the divisional round at the Detroit Lions on Saturday (8 p.m. ET, Fox).

Though Gonzalez’s routine led to some comments on social media at his expense, the moment also served as a reminder that it’s connected to something he has dealt with his whole life: obsessive compulsive disorder.

“It’s a little routine going through it every time,” he said. “It just happened to be on a bigger stage, so there’s just a lot more attention on it.

Washington Commanders kicker Zane Gonzalez welcomes his viral moment as a chance to educate about OCD. pic.twitter.com/Fx9qmRXCgL

— AP NFL (@AP_NFL) January 16, 2025

“You’ve got to have humility, and if not, you’ll drive yourself crazy. It’s stuff that I’ve always kind of laughed at.”

That’s what he and his wife, Lizzy, try to do. In fact, she made a TikTok video defending him from those making fun. Gonzalez said his wife wasn’t thrilled with social media. Gonzalez said he told her, “If you try to fight the internet, you’re going to lose.”

“We had this little chuckle about all this stuff,” Gonzalez said. “She had a post that was kind of comical, as well. We try to have fun in life as much as we can.

“That situation, we tried to see the bright part of it. I mean, I made the kick. Whatever happened before, happened before. She’s used to seeing it. She’s used to seeing me on the sideline. She’s seen me at the practice field doing the same stuff. For us, it’s just funny that it’s just on such a big stage and how it all unfolded.”

The attention led to Gonzalez receiving numerous comments from other people with OCD, who sent him direct messages via social media. Many thanked him for shedding light on the disorder. Friends and family reached out as well.

Gonzalez called it a “tremendous amount of support” and said he liked hearing other people’s stories.

“There’s all sorts of people that walk through life dealing with struggles on a day-to-day [basis], and a lot of it’s at home that people don’t see,” he said. “For example, like last night resetting my alarm about 100 times making sure it’s OK kind of gets on my wife’s nerves a little bit, but at times it’s just kind of how it goes.”

Washington coach Dan Quinn was impressed with how Gonzalez handled the situation.

“I am super happy that he was able to discuss that,” Quinn said. “And if that is a chance for him to assist one other person, I think that takes just a lot of courage and tells you a lot about who he is, not just as a ballplayer but as a man.”

Some of his teammates didn’t know he had the disorder until this week, including someone he works closely with on a daily basis. Washington holder Tress Way assumed it was just Gonzalez’s usual routine.

“I’m a little embarrassed to say that I didn’t know,” said Way, who also is the Commanders’ punter. “He tells me how he wants the ball. I put it down the way it is, and then he stripes it. So I had no idea.”

Washington long-snapper Tyler Ott also didn’t know prior to this week, though he had noticed the hair fixing and adjusting of his shoe. But, Ott said, when Gonzalez gets nearly a minute on TV and makes a kick that gives the organization its first playoff win since the 2005 season, “it gets more attention.”

Ott also said other teammates will fix their hair in practice as well.

“It’s all in good fun. He’s not sensitive about it,” Ott said. “I would just say honestly everybody in the locker room has something they revert back to to get into the moment, and obviously he got a little more attention.”

Not that it has been easy over the years. Gonzalez was in grade school when he was diagnosed with OCD, leading to numerous internal battles over the years. He recalls once writing a paper and miswriting a letter.

“Then you erase it and rewrite that same letter, and now you’re writing the same letter for three hours straight,” he said. “I remember as a kid, I would get really upset to the point where it was like I really couldn’t even do my homework.

“My dad would take me outside on a walk, go play soccer — do something to get my mind off it, and then come back to it. That was their way of addressing it for me: Just getting me away from whatever that was. It was pretty much crippling me at that time.”

Gonzalez said he tried to conceal it from others.

“I used to be a little bit more self-conscious, not as confident as a person,” Gonzalez said. “You’re more adamant about trying not to show people. You’re just like, ‘Oh, I don’t want people to think whatever, this or that.’ I mean, you saw the reaction. People were always like, ‘Oh, he’s nervous.’

“It’s like, it’s not nervousness. It’s just kind of a tic-type deal.”

Gonzalez said as he matured, he learned better how to deal with OCD, including talking to therapists.

“Whenever you’re having one of those situations come up, whatever it may be, you think the worst possible situation’s going to come of it,” he said. “It could be the most unrealistic, crazy, unimaginable thing, and people will be like, ‘You’re crazy for thinking that stuff.’

“Which, I’m aware I’m crazy to think that stuff. But that tic just constantly is like kneading at you. It’s never-ending. It’s always just there.”

As far as Gonzalez’s performance, he has stabilized Washington’s kicking situation. He’s the Commanders’ seventh kicker since March and fourth during the season. The previous kicker, Austin Seibert, is on injured reserve with a groin injury.

In six games, Gonzalez has made 5 of 7 field goals and all 19 extra points.

“We’re really happy with him,” said Washington special teams coach Larry Izzo. “He has his processes and everybody is unique. But, yeah, try not to make much of a big deal about it.

“He went out there and made the kick. That’s all that counts.”